When I look to the future and think about what life will be like with a new baby in our lives, I sometimes feel nervous about how much work it will be to have two babies. Ayden will have just turned one and I know that I will definitely have my hands full. I get to worrying about how I'm going to get them to sleep at the same time or how I probably won't get nap times to myself to do the things I need to anymore or how tough going to the store or to church will probably be. There are plenty of things that I could worry about, and sometimes that I do worry about. However, none of that matters.
None of that matters because I'm going to have another little angel to love and care for! What a wonderful gift! My hands may be full, but my heart will be even more full! Ayden has brought so much joy into our lives and I know our little Elysia will just double the joy we have! I know that I will figure it out, I'll have to start from scratch to figure out a new schedule and routine that works for us but, it will all work out. There will be days that nothing goes as planned and that's okay. When I first had Ayden, I felt a little overwhelmed, not sure if I was doing what I was supposed to be doing at all times. But, 11 months later here we are: she's healthy and happy and beyond anything I could have ever hoped for and I feel that I have done my best and it has been and is enough! So, that's how it will be with Elysia :) I will always try to be the best mother I can be and, with the Lord's help and with my husband by my side, it will be enough.
So, yes, I get nervous when I think about the little things that could be rough with another baby around. I wonder if I'll be enough for both my children, will they feel special and loved individually? Will I be good enough at keeping them happy and healthy, meeting all of their needs and making their lives full? I think it's normal and probably a good thing that I'm worried about these things because it means that I care and that I will make sure they each get time with me and feel special. It's okay for me to be nervous, it's not bad to worry. But, what's important is that my excitement and my love for my little babies goes way beyond any worries I have.
I am so excited to meet little Ellie. She's going to be so beautiful and so loved! I can't wait for her and Ayden to get to know each other and become best friends. They will be able to do things together their whole lives and that will be such a blessing for them and for us as parents. I'm so excited to celebrate holidays and just everyday life with my little girls :) I can't wait to see Sam fall in love with Elysia just like he did when he first saw our little Ayden. As I feel my little baby moving inside of me right now, I already feel a semblance of the love I know I'll feel for her when she comes into the world. It grows every day that I think of her and talk to her and it will continue to grow for the rest of forever.
When I look to the future..all I really feel is blessed.
