A Dream Come True

As Ayden has gotten older, the question of whether or not I would be going back to work needed to be answered. I have to admit, I was nervous about bringing it up to Sam. I knew that I really wanted to stay home, but, I felt bad asking him to carry the burden of providing for us all by himself! I have always felt a big obligation to help contribute in that way, I like to help and make it easier for him. However, I dreamed of staying home with my little ones ever since I was a little one! So, I finally mustered the courage to express my desire to stay home if at all possible. I was relieved at Sam's response, he fully supported my staying home if we could make it work! I asked if he felt stressed about having to go to work and all of that by himself and he said he'd have to go to work anyways and it might as well be for a good reason. He's so wonderful!

You have no idea how happy I was in the moment we realized we could make this work! I dreaded the idea of anyone else getting to raise my baby, even if only for a few hours. I hated the idea of not being the one she wakes up to, or the one that gets her ready for the day. I knew that if there was any way I could work it out, I wanted to be given the opportunity to give 110% to being a mom, with no distractions from work or from anything else. So, we waited until the end of the month to see how we were doing financially after all the bills had come out and all the paychecks had come in. I did the taxes early this year and when we saw the nice return we'd be getting along with the bonus Sam had earned from work for the year, we knew we could do this! So, I am now happy to announce that I get to stay home with my AydeBug!!! :)

I told my boss our decision and she was happy for me, no hard feelings. I went in to work the other day to show my daughter to my co-workers and I thought about how I had loved that job but I loved my new job even more! They asked if I was coming back and I told them no. I have to say that I was pleased when they all stated that they had called it, they said I was a "total mom" and they knew I would stay home if I got the chance. I take pride in being seen as a mom, a mom that would do anything to be home with her kids! It's all I've ever wanted. When I was young and I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always, "a mommy." That desire never changed. Even when people would say I had to choose a "real career," that was the job I wanted. In this world, many people look down on stay-at-home-moms. They think, "that's not a real job" and "they're not contributing, they just sit at home." Well, I'm sorry to burst their bubbles but, being a mom is the biggest and best job any girl could dream of!

It's hard work. It's a job that never ends, it doesn't go from 9-5 and then you get the rest of the night off. You're constantly thinking about your little ones, even when you're supposedly "taking some me time." There are many late nights, many times when you lay your little one to sleep for them to just wake right up again. There's a lot of crying and a lot of diapers to change and your house can be a real mess most days. But, all of that pales when I think of my little girl's smile. When I see her sleeping peacefully or cooing up at me, it's all totally worth it. It's just like with my pregnancy. It was the hardest thing I had done up to that point. But, as soon as I saw my little angel, I forgot all of the pain and all of the discomfort because I had her. Now, I'm not saying I would be cool with being pregnant again right now haha but, man, she's just a dream come true!

After I made the call to my boss, I then went on to call my mom. She and I have talked about my kids since I was little. I would tell her that I had to be good so that they would be proud of me, and so that I'd be worthy of them (in little girl words of course). The closeness I felt to my children growing up kept me out of a lot of risky situations. They saved me time and time again and when I did make mistakes, they helped me fix them and get back on the path I needed to be on to find them. When I met Sam, I knew I had found their dad! That was a big deal for me, I couldn't just trust my children's lives into anyone's hands. But, he was the one. He was the man I could see raising my angels with! So when I broke down and told him how much I wanted to stay home and he responded with support and love, I knew once again that I really had found the right man for me and for my kids! Anyways, so I called my mom. When I told her the good news, she cried :) It's a dream come true for the both of us. She knows how much it meant to me to be able to be home, so we shared that wonderful moment together knowing that my biggest dream of being a mother and being able to be home with my kids all the time was coming true!

I love being able to be here with Ayden, to help her with whatever she needs. I love taking her around with me to clean the house and make dinner for Sam. I love bonding with her as we play and as I feed her. I love our bedtime routine together where I get to use that time to help her relax and ease into a nice, deep sleep. I love my husband for making this possible, for seeing how much it means to me and being supportive. I love the Lord for blessing us with the means to help us feel secure without my added income. I love my family for helping me realize that my kids come first and if I could work out staying home, that would be the best thing to do. I love my Ayden, I love her for making me a mom, I love her for being the angel that she is. I love that I get to raise my children in a beautiful home that is filled with the Spirit. I love my life and I love, love, love being a mom!!